Hmm.  I'm feeling a bit off lately.

 

I think I've been doing too much again.  I'm all at odds with myself because I feel stressed out but I'm not sure why I should.

I have orders to make...plenty of them.  This is good because orders = money, but I'm daunted by how many there are and that causes me to procrastinate.  So, I'm creating without joy right now, in fits and spurts when I can force myself to do it.

I'm definitely escaping on my bike too much...just putting on my i-pod and taking off.  Sometimes that's good because Char comes with me, which is sweet.  Sometimes I'm all alone and I don't realize how fast or far I'm going until I pull up in a daze with a cramp.  That's not excercise.  That's running away.

I mean, it's silly to feel this way.  Working is good...I'd be lost without it.  And of course everyone knows I love to ride my bike.  I'm just feeling a bit unbalanced and stretched thin lately, like a watery pancake mix.  Like I might break. 

Also, I'm sabotaging myself.  I'm playing video games instead of reading a book.  I'm thinking about getting old, quite a bit.  This is really starting to bug me, the getting old thing.  I look in the mirror and my face doesn't match my spirit, and I can be vain so...it bothers me.  More than that, it frightens me.   It's not like you wake up one day and, surprise; you're seventy.  It happens slowly, and lately I'm seeing the new lines my face will fall into as I age and I'm seeing my grandmother...my own mom.   The clues are there and they scare me.  I'm not ready for old age, the same way I'm never ready for winter in November each year.  

Is this a midlife crisis I wonder?  It's not as fun as I'd heard.  I thought it'd mean I'd go to Europe alone, or have a fling, or install a hot tub or buy a motorcycle.  Instead I just feel anxious and stretched thin.  Hmm.

 

But enough whining.  I need some practical advice.  For any of you out there with DevArt accounts; how many comments do you reply to?  All of them?  Just the first page?  I have a monster of a backlog of comments and I always try to at least say "thanks" but the sheer amount is so massive that it'd take hours to do at this point. 

Also, another DA question...I'm getting a LOT of "Ooo I want to make that" comments.  Which of course is copyright infringement.  Like, to the point where kids are contacting me, asking for my PATTERNS so they can TRY TO MAKE A MASK.  Now, I don't own the idea of maskmaking, heck no.  But I sure as hell do own my mask designs.  Should I continue to ignore these comments (which is what I've been doing so far) or do I come down on these kids like the wrath of god?  Surely they must be kids.  Adults wouldn't dare suggest something like that to an artist...would they?  I suspect I'd be accused of being a bitch if I explain copyright law to a 13 year old kid who really likes my dragon, so I'm reluctant to be honest with anyone there.   
 

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