Pfffft...

[merimask]

 

All my happy thoughts are drying up & blowing away.  I'm gripped by the most annoying kind of ennui; the kind where you still get things done but you don't know why you're bothering.  I've probably been pushing myself too hard.

You know, it's a great & terrible thing to make a living doing what you love because sooner or later you run out of love and then, you're just making a living.   I'm a spoiled brat & not used to that. 

I need to kick it down a notch but I can't, because I've foolishly taken on a lot of financial burdens lately (which is probably exactly how I managed to kill the love).   Everyone is counting on me for everything.  Can't lean on anyone, can't afford to slack off.

So, I'm just going through the motions here.  Hoping the love comes back soon.

If spring will just stick around for more than a day, I'll be a bit happier about all of it. 

 

 

Comments

[thegeminifactor.livejournal.com]

We're pulling for you!

[merimask.livejournal.com]

LOL...I be okay. ^_^ I'm just grumpy & over-busy while being under-inspired.

[thegeminifactor.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Been there. A lot of the time my ennui comes in forcible boredom form with a side of energy, so that I want to do stuff but can't. It tends to make me angry and destructive, but usually for about a day or so.

[merimask.livejournal.com]

Heh! That reminds me...I just got an e-mail from a friend with this bit of wisdom: "Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm." ;-)

[thegeminifactor.livejournal.com]

Ha! That's so true!