Holy... okay, first of all, I just have to oogle over the mask. Because it (like all of your others, but I think I'm just REALLY in awe of he medusas!!) it gorgeous. :D
But oh, do I know exactly what you mean in this entire entry.
My parents have told me that I've drawn ever since I could hold a pencil. There's pictures of me when I couldn't be more than 2 years old, sitting at the living room coffee table with a pencil, and scribbling something on paper. ^^
It always surprises me when people tell me they think I'm nice or really sensitive to others. I guess I feel like I'm introverted, too. I like doing things on my own more for the fact that I both don't want to trouble others, and also that I really don't want to have to depend on others for everything either. So, yeah, it often makes me wonder if I'm just a bad team player, or if I come across as snobby/elitist (do I just not trust other people to not screw it up?), or just plain avoidant. And I absolutely know what you mean when you feel like hanging out can feel like such a distraction, and yet you still want to be with friends.
Honestly...? I don't know if that feeling makes me a bad friend or a selfish person, either. I think I feel the same way you do, becuase despite people saying it doesn't matter, somehow it feels like it does. Somehow I always feel like I'm not doing enough as a friend, or not enough for the people I care about. I wish I could be more outgoing without feeling so forced or phoney with people I know on a just a "casual acquaintence" basis. I honestly really envy people who can do that.
Heh, I guess being online gives me a buffer to be able to be open without feeling so on-the-spot. ^^ It's a lot easier to just sit down and write (and be able to edit!) than to converse one-on-one, for me.
I really don't know if it's typical. I like meeting people, and I like having my friends and family around. But I also know that I also really like being alone to do my own thing. ^__^
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But oh, do I know exactly what you mean in this entire entry.
My parents have told me that I've drawn ever since I could hold a pencil. There's pictures of me when I couldn't be more than 2 years old, sitting at the living room coffee table with a pencil, and scribbling something on paper. ^^
It always surprises me when people tell me they think I'm nice or really sensitive to others. I guess I feel like I'm introverted, too. I like doing things on my own more for the fact that I both don't want to trouble others, and also that I really don't want to have to depend on others for everything either. So, yeah, it often makes me wonder if I'm just a bad team player, or if I come across as snobby/elitist (do I just not trust other people to not screw it up?), or just plain avoidant. And I absolutely know what you mean when you feel like hanging out can feel like such a distraction, and yet you still want to be with friends.
Honestly...? I don't know if that feeling makes me a bad friend or a selfish person, either. I think I feel the same way you do, becuase despite people saying it doesn't matter, somehow it feels like it does. Somehow I always feel like I'm not doing enough as a friend, or not enough for the people I care about. I wish I could be more outgoing without feeling so forced or phoney with people I know on a just a "casual acquaintence" basis. I honestly really envy people who can do that.
Heh, I guess being online gives me a buffer to be able to be open without feeling so on-the-spot. ^^ It's a lot easier to just sit down and write (and be able to edit!) than to converse one-on-one, for me.
I really don't know if it's typical. I like meeting people, and I like having my friends and family around. But I also know that I also really like being alone to do my own thing. ^__^