Hmm, that makes it a bit different, of course :) I never *wanted* to fit into a group. Ever. Which makes it funny that *all* the groups (The popular kids, the brainy kids, the dorky ones, the 'bad' ones...etc) all thought I was okay and didn't mind if I hung around at 'their' table in the caf. (I went to a very clique-ish junior high, like something out of Beverly Hills.) I guess when you just don't care, people find you easy to get along with, heh. :)

My little sis is dramatic and cared more about what her friends thought than I ever did. (My other sister is too insecure and quiet to stick out enough to even be noticed...her primary thing was that she was a super student and all the teachers thought she was great.) If my parents hadn't stuck to their guns I suppose she might have done stuff that would be a bit regrettable...I'm not positive. And every kid has at least a few little things that they keep secret, that usually don't really matter, like my going to that dance.

Definitely have terms. If you think Char needs them to protect her then that's definitely your first priority...you can't look after someone else's kid before your own. But the other girl will probably appreciate the rules, really...though I doubt she'd let on that she did until she's grown up enough to admit it :) I've seen for myself how some kids, the neglected ones whose own parents never bother with rules, feel kind of loved, just because someone cares enough to *make* rules for them. After all, a lack of rules is basically a parent saying 'You're not important enough for me to care.'