Pfffft...

[merimask]

 

All my happy thoughts are drying up & blowing away.  I'm gripped by the most annoying kind of ennui; the kind where you still get things done but you don't know why you're bothering.  I've probably been pushing myself too hard.

You know, it's a great & terrible thing to make a living doing what you love because sooner or later you run out of love and then, you're just making a living.   I'm a spoiled brat & not used to that. 

I need to kick it down a notch but I can't, because I've foolishly taken on a lot of financial burdens lately (which is probably exactly how I managed to kill the love).   Everyone is counting on me for everything.  Can't lean on anyone, can't afford to slack off.

So, I'm just going through the motions here.  Hoping the love comes back soon.

If spring will just stick around for more than a day, I'll be a bit happier about all of it. 

 

 

Comments

[oraien.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean... and it's frustrating not to feel the same joy that you know you USED to feel, doing something... a friend of mine told me the other day that this happens in life, especially with what you do for a living. It's normal to sometimes HATE what you're doing because after all, it's not just what you do, it's a JOB and jobs have a reputation of being boring, soul-sucking, painful and annoying.

So look towards when the love comes back. It does, eventually, when the positive comes back to the center of your creative processes, you'll really be reminded of the payoff.

[merimask.livejournal.com]

This happens from time to time. If I acknowledge it & label it, it never lasts for long (creative ennui only gets bad if you are in denial about it). In the meantime, I'm lucky 'cause I have such a HUGE store of designs I can make from patterns, & people really want them, so...busywork. Which is okay too.