Pfffft...

[merimask]

 

All my happy thoughts are drying up & blowing away.  I'm gripped by the most annoying kind of ennui; the kind where you still get things done but you don't know why you're bothering.  I've probably been pushing myself too hard.

You know, it's a great & terrible thing to make a living doing what you love because sooner or later you run out of love and then, you're just making a living.   I'm a spoiled brat & not used to that. 

I need to kick it down a notch but I can't, because I've foolishly taken on a lot of financial burdens lately (which is probably exactly how I managed to kill the love).   Everyone is counting on me for everything.  Can't lean on anyone, can't afford to slack off.

So, I'm just going through the motions here.  Hoping the love comes back soon.

If spring will just stick around for more than a day, I'll be a bit happier about all of it. 

 

 

Comments

[golden-meliades.livejournal.com]

I get really anxious this time of year. It always feels like my list of stuff to do (which is usually long in the spring as everything is changing) is doubled by anxiety alone, as March in the Ottawa Valley is rather useless, more winter than spring but just spring enough to make you feel like you should be gearing up, even though there is still snow and the temps are still always below freezing at night and...etc.

I hate making stuff out of obligation. Hate it. It all looks so ugly, then.

I hope you can get out from under a few of the things you've taken on, soon. (And don't take up anything new in their place!)

[merimask.livejournal.com]

April seems like a tough month, not as tough as February but still...it's like an "in between" month and there's so much you want to do but can't quite get started yet. I remember April was rough on both of us last year.

I'm okay, I'm just at an "in between" place & really, I DID take on too much this month with taxes & car payments & advertising...general stuff.

But it's all good. This always happens & it never lasts for long.

[golden-meliades.livejournal.com]

Do you need more Skip Beat? Lol, it's my solution to everything ;)

I feel totally blah today myself, even though I've done a lot of cleaning, so soon I'll put a new stick (using awesome hand painted glass gypsy beads, which I haven't taken out of my stock before) on DevArt, I'll make the bed up fresh, shower...and then perhaps go out and get some healthy groceries. (I had candy this morning. Ugh. You're happy when you eat it but then you feel all sticky and wasted away afterwards...)

Then maybe a little more cleaning. A super productive day that's not too high energy would really help out, in my case.

[thegeminifactor.livejournal.com]

We're pulling for you!

[merimask.livejournal.com]

LOL...I be okay. ^_^ I'm just grumpy & over-busy while being under-inspired.

[thegeminifactor.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Been there. A lot of the time my ennui comes in forcible boredom form with a side of energy, so that I want to do stuff but can't. It tends to make me angry and destructive, but usually for about a day or so.

[merimask.livejournal.com]

Heh! That reminds me...I just got an e-mail from a friend with this bit of wisdom: "Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm." ;-)

[thegeminifactor.livejournal.com]

Ha! That's so true!

[oraien.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean... and it's frustrating not to feel the same joy that you know you USED to feel, doing something... a friend of mine told me the other day that this happens in life, especially with what you do for a living. It's normal to sometimes HATE what you're doing because after all, it's not just what you do, it's a JOB and jobs have a reputation of being boring, soul-sucking, painful and annoying.

So look towards when the love comes back. It does, eventually, when the positive comes back to the center of your creative processes, you'll really be reminded of the payoff.

[merimask.livejournal.com]

This happens from time to time. If I acknowledge it & label it, it never lasts for long (creative ennui only gets bad if you are in denial about it). In the meantime, I'm lucky 'cause I have such a HUGE store of designs I can make from patterns, & people really want them, so...busywork. Which is okay too.

[a-hollow-year.livejournal.com]

Hang in there, it will return!

[merimask.livejournal.com]

I'll be fine. This happens sometimes, & if I call it out & stomp my feet, it never lasts for more than a few days. It's when you try to deny it that the creative ennui takes hold & becomes a pattern instead of a hiccup.

[madshutterbug.livejournal.com]

Patience. Take a deep breath.

All things pass. So will this. Consider the opportunity, to learn about yourself. You will know, once through this, how deep your love of your art truly is.

[merimask.livejournal.com]

I'll be ok...I just hate feeling uninspired.

I combat it with "good stuff" like in my newest entry (I can't let this grumpy whiny thing be my "first day of spring" entry!)

[empath-eia.livejournal.com]

I know a similar feeling. I'm sorry. :( ♥

[merimask.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's never fun. :-/ Fortunately if I acknowledge it, I can chase the blues away.

Also, doing good deeds helps. Pay it forward.

[ramblinsuze.livejournal.com]

This reminds me of what I felt by the time I graduated from college. I'd absolutely LOOOOOOOVED art and crafts and creative stuff, but felt like school completely made it into a chore. I've still never bounced back 100% from that, but at least I love it again!

Try doing something without the store in mind. Maybe not even mask-related. Try something else. Or go biking. Or whatever you want that lifts your spirits and reminds you why you love what you do.

Beyond that, just give it some time. :)

[merimask.livejournal.com]

I think I'm just a bit too focused on the money aspect right now, & it hurts everything when I get like that. The talk talk talk about the economy being in the crapper doesn't help, & then I went & overextended myself like woa this month...stupid thing to do.

But really, it's all good. I'm nothing if not focused, & I'll just take a weekend to center myself & everything will be fine. I haven't had a bad block in a loooong time.

Weather's supposed to warm up again too! A bike ride will be just the thing I need.

[zannachan.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure that the love will come back--having your art be an obligation, especially when you and your family are depending on that income, really does make it work, even if it is something that you really love doing. And you've been pushing yourself very hard lately--really long, crazy hours. No wonder you're feeling a little burned out.

The only advice I have is that you find a little you time--a long bike ride, pamper yourself with a long hot bath, reading a fluffy novel, whatever escape works best for you.

[merimask.livejournal.com]

I just took on too much & whenever I let the money be my driving force (instead of the art) everything suffers.

I need to not be stressed. I'm having a good month on Etsy...that should be enough. The thing with making a living from this kind of art; you never know when it'll all dry up. It makes me really anxious & when I get all nervous, I get blocked.

It's all good though. I'm going to take the weekend to center myself. In the meantime I wrote a new entry full of GOOD things...that always helps. ^_^

[tallymark.livejournal.com]

Hang in there, the love'll come back! You might just need to get through this financial crunch first so that it isn't about the money anymore.

Back when I was an undergrad and I was torn between pursuing art and biology, I took some art classes and found that when I HAD to do art...I hated it, completely and utterly. So I went with my other love, biology...but now I'm six years down that road and I hate biology and just want to do art! Lol. Cheer up though--you've got a career that is awesome and creative and fun, when you aren't weighted down by the burden of making a living.