Pfffft...

[merimask]

 

All my happy thoughts are drying up & blowing away.  I'm gripped by the most annoying kind of ennui; the kind where you still get things done but you don't know why you're bothering.  I've probably been pushing myself too hard.

You know, it's a great & terrible thing to make a living doing what you love because sooner or later you run out of love and then, you're just making a living.   I'm a spoiled brat & not used to that. 

I need to kick it down a notch but I can't, because I've foolishly taken on a lot of financial burdens lately (which is probably exactly how I managed to kill the love).   Everyone is counting on me for everything.  Can't lean on anyone, can't afford to slack off.

So, I'm just going through the motions here.  Hoping the love comes back soon.

If spring will just stick around for more than a day, I'll be a bit happier about all of it. 

 

 

Comments

[merimask.livejournal.com]

I think I'm just a bit too focused on the money aspect right now, & it hurts everything when I get like that. The talk talk talk about the economy being in the crapper doesn't help, & then I went & overextended myself like woa this month...stupid thing to do.

But really, it's all good. I'm nothing if not focused, & I'll just take a weekend to center myself & everything will be fine. I haven't had a bad block in a loooong time.

Weather's supposed to warm up again too! A bike ride will be just the thing I need.