Yikes. Hmm, that's just never happened to me. I don't even walk to the beat of my own drummer...I hired a flautist and a harpist to play me down the path and told the drummer to take a hike :) And my sisters never fell into bad influences either, but more because my parents were so serious about things and new they couldn't get away with it than because they simply couldn't have been tempted to do as their friends did.
Naturally, it won't hurt Char to get bad grades for one quarter, but until you know where it would stop, it probably *is* best to limit her association with anyone who might be causing/influencing this shift in things. I don't wonder at her need to fit in but I do wonder why she wants to fit in with these girls (or just 'girl'?) in particular, rather than the popular kids or the smart kids or whatever cliques her school has. (My junior high had them ALL.)
If Charlotte *needs* micro-managing then I hope you'll manage not to feel too bad about it, because it's more important that she not get all messed up in ways that will last than it is for her to 'like' you; most teens hate their parents for a good portion of the time anyway. :/ (I got seriously annoyed with my dad and never my mom, but that's how it STILL is, and I was a weird, weird teen. But my baby sis was HORRIBLE to my parents for at least a full year, maybe two. Really horrible. And it was just her age, nothing else...nothing bad was happening to her and there were no particularly bad influences of any kind in her life.) Hopefully Charlotte sees past any new rules and discipline to the reasons behind it and accepts it as gracefully as one could expect from a thirteen-year-old. :) (Fourteen year old?)
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Date: 2006-12-23 09:46 pm (UTC)Naturally, it won't hurt Char to get bad grades for one quarter, but until you know where it would stop, it probably *is* best to limit her association with anyone who might be causing/influencing this shift in things. I don't wonder at her need to fit in but I do wonder why she wants to fit in with these girls (or just 'girl'?) in particular, rather than the popular kids or the smart kids or whatever cliques her school has. (My junior high had them ALL.)
If Charlotte *needs* micro-managing then I hope you'll manage not to feel too bad about it, because it's more important that she not get all messed up in ways that will last than it is for her to 'like' you; most teens hate their parents for a good portion of the time anyway. :/ (I got seriously annoyed with my dad and never my mom, but that's how it STILL is, and I was a weird, weird teen. But my baby sis was HORRIBLE to my parents for at least a full year, maybe two. Really horrible. And it was just her age, nothing else...nothing bad was happening to her and there were no particularly bad influences of any kind in her life.) Hopefully Charlotte sees past any new rules and discipline to the reasons behind it and accepts it as gracefully as one could expect from a thirteen-year-old. :) (Fourteen year old?)