Worse, better, worse...

[merimask]

I'm fluctuating between feeling terrible & feeling better.  The darvocet DID help this afternoon.  I was in terrible pain...I even called my doctor 'cause I could not breathe, it hurt so bad.  Right under my ribcage & up to my shoulder.  Laying down made it worse.

Turns out, they pump your abdominal cavity full of air so they can see what's going on with the laproscope.  Some of that air becomes bubbles that get trapped.  You just have to wait 'til it all resorbs, so there's nothing that can be done for it.  It's not even something you can burp away because it's in your cavity & not a stomach or bowel.  

I'm seriously NO baby & I can deal with pain, but I gotta say this really hurts.

So...what to do?  Shop, that's what!  Ok, not really (I don't spend to make myself feel better, in fact it tends to make me feel guilty & worse), but I just HAD to have this:

It's another butterfly from Neile!!  I just love it...it's different from my Monarch in design & color. I have NO idea what kind of butterfly it is...it's not in any of my guides.  It's just the forewing too, which makes it even harder to track down.  I love it though...the black/green/blue will look awesome with everything that doesn't go with my monarch...so I'll always be able to wear a Niele butterfly.  Bliss.  ^__^

I'm wearing my monarch right now...with my jammies.  I don't know why.  It just makes me feel better.

Se yesterday's surgery went really well, all things considered.  I love Dr Kurss...he totally totally rocks.  He's a funny guy, too.  He was joking with me (I warned him that sometimes I "come up" from anesthesia spouting nonsense, so don't take it personally if I start swearing at him in Japanese since the last time I was under, all I retained was my Anime cussing.  He asked for an example; I called him "Baka".  He ran for a japanese technician in the next room & called him "Baka" (idiot), & I heard an indignant "that's not nice!"...which cracked everyone up & totally made my doc's day).

I had a rough moment, when we passed the maternity ward on the way to the operating rom.  I could see the newborns waving their perfect little starfish hands & it made me want to cry.  Just for a moment, & then we were past it all & now, so am I.  No more babies.

I still have so much though.  My art, my health, my dog, my family.  All these things fill me up.   Happiness is a choice.

So, no casino night for New Year's eve this year I think.  Just going to kick back & watch other people have fun.  We can go next year.   I'll wear my kimono blouse with my new butterfly...it'll go perfectly!   

*hug*  Love all you guys...lots.  I hope you all know that.   

Comments

[golden-meliades.livejournal.com]

We love you, too. :)

[shvetufae.livejournal.com]

Seconded. *makes you tea and fluffs your pillows*

[merimask.livejournal.com]

*smooch*

[merimask.livejournal.com]

*hug* It helps so much to know you're there for me.

[ramblinsuze.livejournal.com]

*hugs* You are an amazing person.

And I love the "baka" bit. Hee! Any swearing this time around?

[merimask.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* Thank you hon.

lol...no, this time I kept it together. I actually woke up in a fairly calm manner, for a change.

[moonphased.livejournal.com]

:D See, meri, this is why I admire you SO much!! :D You're seriously my hero. ^_^

*L* And when I get back to the US, I swear I am probably going to be getting an Etsy account or something, because every time I go on there, there's something I'm like, "OMG, that is SO AWESOME!!" ^_^

Loves you!! :D ♥

[merimask.livejournal.com]

Aww... *blushes* I'm no different than anyone else, really. I'm just hitting all this "fun stuff" at once this year, it seems.

Ooo, you absolutely must get an account on Etsy. If you go to my "favorites" on my site you'll see the most beautiful stuff. There are so many truly talented people there.

*loves you back*!

[kls-eloise.livejournal.com]

Hmmmmm..... my hospital told me that the CO2 they blow you up with *would* absorb into the bowel, and they were all vitally interested to know if and how often I'd farted - which was really disconcerting. Weird conversation to be having. They wanted me up and walking around, because apparently that speeds up the process. So it makes sense that pacing helps.

Keep taking care, and keep checking in.

I saw that necklace on Etsy - gorgeous.

[merimask.livejournal.com]

That's good to know. I feel much better but I've been upright all day & I'm afraid to lay down...the pain was eye-watering-bad. At any rate the darvocet does work...I was just being too conservative with my dosage (I was allowed to take one or two pills, four to six hours apart, so I was taking one pill every six hours. Not enough.)

OMG isn't that necklace wonderful? I can't wait to get it. There are natural variations in the markings & with her soldering too, so each piece looks a little different from the photos. I have to find out what kind of butterfly that is, too.

[golden-meliades.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. When I had the tumor-y thing, I had *agonizing* abdominal pain because it was crushing my stuff and restricting intestinal movement and so on, and the only thing that helped was standing with my hands on my knees (this must have allowed the cyst tumor thing to fall forward so my guts had a little more space). I couldn't sleep for three days because it was too painful to lie down...I had to prop myself up.

Point of the story...do you have a lazy-boy or other comfy recliner? Those can be quite comfortable to sleep in with that sort of pain.

[kls-eloise.livejournal.com]

Mel's suggestion of a recliner if one is available is really good. I do the same thing with pain pills - I HATE the way they make me feel, so I'm overly conservative with them. They also give me really bad nightmares, which apparently isn't uncommon. Poor Bob - either the first or second night I let him back into our bed I woke him up at 3am and made him plan out the week with me. I'd reached a point where I couldn't distinguish the nightmare from awake, and I needed something like that conversation to "ground" me back in reality. That's when I decided that even if it hurt I didn't need the narcotic.

I keep looking at those necklaces, but I just don't wear jewelry that large. I think they're just going to be something that I love to see on other people.

Bob's out at a game today, and I'm *supposed* to be working on the document for 12th Night. I just can't seem to get started. I started the layout the other evening, didn't like how the ink and the paper were working together, and then misspelled "shining" irretrievably. So I'm going to start over. Real Soon Now. Luckily I've picked a layout of the Master of Mary of Burgundy, so it's fairly simple in scope. I just need to remember to leave a whole day for the gold leaf so that the size can dry correctly. It's irritating to find a step that you Just Can't Rush.

[amandaalon.livejournal.com]

Glad you've come thru it alright. Why would they make you go past the maternity ward--that just sucks...

Love, love, love your new necklace--I'm very jealous.

Loving your doctor makes such a difference. I'm recommending the ENT surgeon to all the moms at K's school. When have you ever heard of a doc giving out his cell and home numbers to patient? Drew had aloto f reservations about the general anathesia (sp) and our doc did alot to calm us.

Anyway..happpy new year and may it be one of healthy body and healthy car!

XXOO
Suzanne?Amanda

[merimask.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the trip past the babies was pretty ironic & sad. *shrug* Couldn't be helped I suppose.

I have my doc's home cell phone too! It's so nice to know there are some decent, dedicated physicians out there who really DO care about their patients.

I'm sure hoping for a happier '08. '07 kinda beat me up & took my lunch money.