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Whew. It's been a tumultuous fifty-two weeks. Aside from 2001 (the year my Dad died & the towers fell) I can't remember a more dramatic year.
All in all, even though I've had some really serious disasters befall me (on a personal level), I feel like this year I handled myself pretty well. I guess, if you live long enough, you'll run into difficulty sooner or later. It's how you handle that difficulty that shows the strength of your character. I feel like I don't have anything to be embarrassed about, in 2007.
But oh!! I really hope 2008 will go a bit easier on me!!
I got good and angry about my career in 2007. Early on, I was spinning my wheels going nowhere. I pulled myself up by my bootstraps & made inroads, & this became the year I finally got myself into galleries; a lifelong dream. I stopped doing shows & events, & tried several new venues & marketing strategies (almost all of them worked). This was also the year that Cirque Du Soleil finally bought that mask design from me. It wasn't about the money...it was more about the moral victory & the reaffirmation of my ability to represent myself responsibly as a businessperson. 2007 will be the first year where I feel that I was able to compete successfully as a fine artist. It's the first time I've actually felt like I might be able to make a good living doing what I love (& not "just get by"). That's huge.
My art took a leap too. This year I created some of the most ambitious pieces I've ever done. Larger, more fanciful masks and some really interesting concept pieces...and I charged the biggest prices yet. That was the scariest part. But you know...I sold them all. No one blinked. In fact, everyone wants more. Another affirmation of my ability as an artist; apparently the more I let myself explore, the more people like my work & the more I can charge. That came as a surprise to me.
Health-wise I experienced a lot of highs and lows this year. I think 2007 is the year my age finally caught up with me. I started out the year weighing too much & excercising was becoming a problem. A reality check after a visit with my brother in Vegas energized me & I lost a lot of weight & got very strong in a very short period of time. I got serious about my bicycling regimen & I was eating very healthy foods...& it was easy. I was doing so well...& then I had another unplanned pregnancy that, once again, destroyed my health.
2007 was my last gasp of fertility. Once this latest pregnancy began to develop problems, that was my final wake-up call. I feel like I handled the loss of this pregnancy better than all the others, because I had worked SO hard to get healthy & I finally could see these repeated failed pregnancies that I've endured for years for what they are; assaults on my health. People keep asking me why I decided to get this tubal ligation during the holidays...frankly I did it because this was the SOONEST I could schedule it. I just want to be done with all the blood & the pain, forever. I've had it. I want to get healthy & stay that way. Life is short. These are, really, the last years of my (relatively speaking) youth. If I don't do something right now to take control of my body, I'll just continue to deteriorate a little more each year. I like myself too much to let that happen. Reality is what it is; I can't make babies anymore. Time to move on.
This was the Year Of Teenage Drama. Charlotte has put my parenting skills to quite a test this year. It's been a very treacherous road to walk...I have to say I think my diligence & proactive stance has been working. So much of what's gone on this year, you guys will never know, (it's not for me to share, really), but you have to take my word for it when I say that the parental calisthenics I've undertaken this year with the kid have been prodigious! Seriously...I could write a book. I'm not done either & I know that...but I do feel like some of the biggest hurdles have been crossed & I've established a line in the sand that's holding, so far. I've set a precedent...that's the important point to remember.
This is the year so much of the crap from the divorce finally came home to roost. I always knew it would, eventually. Even the most amicable divorce has some emotional fallout (& my break was never what you could describe as "amicable"...it was more like "The Great Escape"). I surprised myself with how tough I can be, when I need to be. Also, without going into details (damn you, public forum!) there has been some vindication for the choices I've had to make. Still, you know, the Drama. It wears me down. Being "right" isn't good enough...you have to be right & also be smart. There's the tricky part. I'm getting better at it, as time goes by.
2007 is also the year I feel like Greg & I finally became "adults". Not so much financial drama, for the first time in both our lives. We own the house we live in & that has worked out well. Improvements are being made...slowly! But they are happening & that's a good sign. A really bad run of car problems happened...the kind of thing that a few years ago would have been a financial disaster that would have caused serious money problems & required a possible bail-out from parents. We handled it, though. In fact, I think we actually came out ahead. I have a beautiful new car & Greg's credit has never been better, and we actually have less bills now than we did at the beginning of the year. That's partly due to the fact that I'm doing much better, business-wise. It's mostly due to the fact that Greg is a freaking financial wizard.
This year was a sort of milestone for me & Greg, too, although he probably doesn't know it. We've been together for over nine years, now. With my first husband, by the time the eight-year point had been reached I knew I had to get away from him...eight years is enough time to assess a person's character & know if they will ever change (and if they won't change, can you live with that?). Greg and I hit that eight year point & I feel...not exactly complacency. More like a feeling of peaceful equanimity. I know who he is & I'm fine with it. That probably doesn't sound very romantic, I know. But believe me, it's a very warm & safe place to be. I'm comfortable with the choices I let my heart make, for the first time in my whole life. That's a good thing.
My art took a leap too. This year I created some of the most ambitious pieces I've ever done. Larger, more fanciful masks and some really interesting concept pieces...and I charged the biggest prices yet. That was the scariest part. But you know...I sold them all. No one blinked. In fact, everyone wants more. Another affirmation of my ability as an artist; apparently the more I let myself explore, the more people like my work & the more I can charge. That came as a surprise to me.
Health-wise I experienced a lot of highs and lows this year. I think 2007 is the year my age finally caught up with me. I started out the year weighing too much & excercising was becoming a problem. A reality check after a visit with my brother in Vegas energized me & I lost a lot of weight & got very strong in a very short period of time. I got serious about my bicycling regimen & I was eating very healthy foods...& it was easy. I was doing so well...& then I had another unplanned pregnancy that, once again, destroyed my health.
2007 was my last gasp of fertility. Once this latest pregnancy began to develop problems, that was my final wake-up call. I feel like I handled the loss of this pregnancy better than all the others, because I had worked SO hard to get healthy & I finally could see these repeated failed pregnancies that I've endured for years for what they are; assaults on my health. People keep asking me why I decided to get this tubal ligation during the holidays...frankly I did it because this was the SOONEST I could schedule it. I just want to be done with all the blood & the pain, forever. I've had it. I want to get healthy & stay that way. Life is short. These are, really, the last years of my (relatively speaking) youth. If I don't do something right now to take control of my body, I'll just continue to deteriorate a little more each year. I like myself too much to let that happen. Reality is what it is; I can't make babies anymore. Time to move on.
This was the Year Of Teenage Drama. Charlotte has put my parenting skills to quite a test this year. It's been a very treacherous road to walk...I have to say I think my diligence & proactive stance has been working. So much of what's gone on this year, you guys will never know, (it's not for me to share, really), but you have to take my word for it when I say that the parental calisthenics I've undertaken this year with the kid have been prodigious! Seriously...I could write a book. I'm not done either & I know that...but I do feel like some of the biggest hurdles have been crossed & I've established a line in the sand that's holding, so far. I've set a precedent...that's the important point to remember.
This is the year so much of the crap from the divorce finally came home to roost. I always knew it would, eventually. Even the most amicable divorce has some emotional fallout (& my break was never what you could describe as "amicable"...it was more like "The Great Escape"). I surprised myself with how tough I can be, when I need to be. Also, without going into details (damn you, public forum!) there has been some vindication for the choices I've had to make. Still, you know, the Drama. It wears me down. Being "right" isn't good enough...you have to be right & also be smart. There's the tricky part. I'm getting better at it, as time goes by.
2007 is also the year I feel like Greg & I finally became "adults". Not so much financial drama, for the first time in both our lives. We own the house we live in & that has worked out well. Improvements are being made...slowly! But they are happening & that's a good sign. A really bad run of car problems happened...the kind of thing that a few years ago would have been a financial disaster that would have caused serious money problems & required a possible bail-out from parents. We handled it, though. In fact, I think we actually came out ahead. I have a beautiful new car & Greg's credit has never been better, and we actually have less bills now than we did at the beginning of the year. That's partly due to the fact that I'm doing much better, business-wise. It's mostly due to the fact that Greg is a freaking financial wizard.
This year was a sort of milestone for me & Greg, too, although he probably doesn't know it. We've been together for over nine years, now. With my first husband, by the time the eight-year point had been reached I knew I had to get away from him...eight years is enough time to assess a person's character & know if they will ever change (and if they won't change, can you live with that?). Greg and I hit that eight year point & I feel...not exactly complacency. More like a feeling of peaceful equanimity. I know who he is & I'm fine with it. That probably doesn't sound very romantic, I know. But believe me, it's a very warm & safe place to be. I'm comfortable with the choices I let my heart make, for the first time in my whole life. That's a good thing.
All in all, even though I've had some really serious disasters befall me (on a personal level), I feel like this year I handled myself pretty well. I guess, if you live long enough, you'll run into difficulty sooner or later. It's how you handle that difficulty that shows the strength of your character. I feel like I don't have anything to be embarrassed about, in 2007.
But oh!! I really hope 2008 will go a bit easier on me!!
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From:
no subject
God I am so nerved up! Not exactly in a bad way, but I can't relax. I'm listing one item per hour today until 3pm on Etsy AND I have to take more photos AND I have to make an entry to my beautiful new blog. Well, these are interesting problems, at least...I might be nerved up all day but I won't be bored!
2007 was quite a year for me, too...but not quite so much as for you, as you have other people to deal with, and I have just myself and a very poor but also very secure financial situation.
From:
no subject
Oh! I am SO excited for your big opening! I "favorited" a bunch of sticks(the more of those you get, the better. It's like free advertising)...everything looks so wonderful! I have been watching; you're getting attention & that's great. Today might start slow for you; I noticed that weekdays are really the best for listing new things, because people at work are online clicking away on stuff at Etsy (& no one is working today!). So, today is atypical, really, for traffic. Tomorrow will be better. Try putting some things up during "lunch hour"...that's what works best for me.
Good luck! I'm your #1 fan! ^__^
From:
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Also, I'm listing Hidebound at 11 this morning. Since you said not to, I won't reserve it, but if you change your mind let me know at any time.
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I already "faved" Hidebound. I feel like I want to give the world a chance to see it, but it's probably going to be mine. I love that set & I think it'll look really neat with my butterfly jewelry (it goes with everything 'cause it's so neutral).
From:
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I totally know where you're coming from on the marriage front. After eight years of marriage to my ex, all I could think was "GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!!!!" A comfortable partnership sounds like heaven to me! :)
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Yeah, you know what I mean about the unhappy feeling you have when you're trapped in a bad marriage...it's just about the worst feeling in the world for a woman to have. I have to say, it's great not to feel that way any more. I used to feel so lost...but in a GOOD marriage, it's like you don't lose yourself. I feel more than ever like I know who I am & where I'm going.
From:
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I know what you mean about you and Greg. One of the things I treasure is that feeling of comfort we've achieved after all of these years. It's not incredibly passionate or romantic, but it's the kind of feeling that you know can sustain you for the rest of your life.
I have great hopes for 2008. The disappointments don't usually start until later. ;-)
From:
no subject
OMG A good stable relationship is such a wonderful thing. I look back on how my life used to be & I honestly wonder how I managed to survive. It's great to be with someone that lets you keep your identity & your pride. You've never known anything else...lucky girl! ^__^
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And I'm really glad that you're finally in a really solid, good relationship. You deserve the best!
Happy New year to everyone!
From:
no subject
Happy new year to you too!
From:
no subject