Worse, better, worse...

I'm fluctuating between feeling terrible & feeling better.  The darvocet DID help this afternoon.  I was in terrible pain...I even called my doctor 'cause I could not breathe, it hurt so bad.  Right under my ribcage & up to my shoulder.  Laying down made it worse.

Turns out, they pump your abdominal cavity full of air so they can see what's going on with the laproscope.  Some of that air becomes bubbles that get trapped.  You just have to wait 'til it all resorbs, so there's nothing that can be done for it.  It's not even something you can burp away because it's in your cavity & not a stomach or bowel.  

I'm seriously NO baby & I can deal with pain, but I gotta say this really hurts.

So...what to do?  Shop, that's what!  Ok, not really (I don't spend to make myself feel better, in fact it tends to make me feel guilty & worse), but I just HAD to have this:

It's another butterfly from Neile!!  I just love it...it's different from my Monarch in design & color. I have NO idea what kind of butterfly it is...it's not in any of my guides.  It's just the forewing too, which makes it even harder to track down.  I love it though...the black/green/blue will look awesome with everything that doesn't go with my monarch...so I'll always be able to wear a Niele butterfly.  Bliss.  ^__^

I'm wearing my monarch right now...with my jammies.  I don't know why.  It just makes me feel better.

Se yesterday's surgery went really well, all things considered.  I love Dr Kurss...he totally totally rocks.  He's a funny guy, too.  He was joking with me (I warned him that sometimes I "come up" from anesthesia spouting nonsense, so don't take it personally if I start swearing at him in Japanese since the last time I was under, all I retained was my Anime cussing.  He asked for an example; I called him "Baka".  He ran for a japanese technician in the next room & called him "Baka" (idiot), & I heard an indignant "that's not nice!"...which cracked everyone up & totally made my doc's day).

I had a rough moment, when we passed the maternity ward on the way to the operating rom.  I could see the newborns waving their perfect little starfish hands & it made me want to cry.  Just for a moment, & then we were past it all & now, so am I.  No more babies.

I still have so much though.  My art, my health, my dog, my family.  All these things fill me up.   Happiness is a choice.

So, no casino night for New Year's eve this year I think.  Just going to kick back & watch other people have fun.  We can go next year.   I'll wear my kimono blouse with my new butterfly...it'll go perfectly!   

*hug*  Love all you guys...lots.  I hope you all know that.