...lightning.

[merimask]

Hmm.  I had a pleasant Saturday evening date with my husband.  I was informed that we'd do anything that I wanted.    That meant seafood at The Dock At The Bay, movie rental (because I didn't feel like fighting the crowds on a rainy night ), and a slice of cake from The Dessert Deli (they made our wedding cake.   They totally own Amherst...half the town was in that place on a Saturday night paying 5 bucks for a slice of cake and LOVING it).

So we watched Silent Hill (meh  *shrug*  It ain't art, I'll say that much.  Probably would have liked it better if I'd ever played the game), ate cake, got cozy, napped...  All very pleasant.  

Then I wake up because the wind is howling and the rain is falling in buckets, and I decide to check up with my eBay auctions online...and I find e-mail from some friends, informing me that someone we all know died this morning.

She was my age and she was a strange bird prone to bouts of crazy...but she introduced me to anime and she made really great cocoa and even though we clashed sometimes, I always admired her.  She had lovely long red hair and she was a very good fencer.  She bought her first house at 24...quite a feat for a single girl...and lived in it quite nicely, all alone.  She was very smart and very independent...she had great art on the walls.

I knew she was sick...she's had breast cancer for three years, but I didn't know how ill she'd become.  I was going to give her a call and see how she was doing.  

...  I have nothing much more to say.  I'm not exactly devastated or anything...I'm just saddened and feeling my mortality.  She was my age and she's gone, and isn't the world a capricious place?  Lightning strikes or it doesn't.  The lump is just a cyst or maybe a malignant tumor.  There's no telling which way it'll go.   Usually I'm fine with that.  Tonight, I'm hearing the storm at my window and it sounds...close.

Comments

[moko-moko.livejournal.com]

It's really rough when you have those days thinking of 'life' in general like that. It keeps me up nights sometimes. And then I read about your awesome date, and everything's okay! It sounded like a wonderful day, just being with the one you love~~ *small squee*

[merimask.livejournal.com]

Do you do that too? I freak myself out periodically, thinking very clearly about death and what it really means. It's horrible to really actualize the concept...it's almost beyond imagining and when I do have those moments of awful clarity there are a few minutes of "OMG there's no way I can think about this for too long..." and then I have to back away like a person at the edge of a cliff.

I'd MUCH rather be sucked into a neat video game like you are right now. ;-) *is SO jealous*

[moko-moko.livejournal.com]

ohgod, something just as bad me and my friend Zoe used to do is ponder the afterlife right as we were going to sleep (doing ANY of the above is a bad idea, btw) because...you're living in the ~now~, seeing from your own eyes, feeling with your skin, everything is here and now and ~ME~... but what's to say you haven't done this before? That this same consciousness you experience has happened over and over again? I'm so praying for something after death that isn't another life, I quite enjoy mine. Something pleasant would be nice.

Kay, that's depressing, BACK TO OKAMI. WHY DO YOU NOT HAVE A COPY YET?

[merimask.livejournal.com]

"BACK TO OKAMI. WHY DO YOU NOT HAVE A COPY YET?"

I don't KNOOOOOW! Waaah! Greg said he ordered it, like, two months ago from someplace online, but they keep saying it's out of stock. I guess there were so many prepaid orders they ran out long before they could fill 'em all. So...I LOSE! Grr! No word on when it'll be shipped, either. I keep checking, every day, but no joy.

I read about it over a year ago in some gaming magazine and I've been waiting for it patiently...but now that it's finally been released in this country I'm just dying to get my hands on it and I am DENIED.