![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
So, yeah. Charlotte's little needy friends are no longer going to call my house "home" for a while. The Great Social Experiment of '06 comes to a screeching halt as of today for a number of reasons, not the least of which is I got her report card today and she went from all "A"s to "C" and "C-"s in just one quarter. Her friends aren't bad kids, but they have NO structure, no one cares whether they get home on time or do their homework, and so Charlotte has gone right along for the ride and I'm freaking sick of having to yell at her about it. Her little girlfriend with the fucked-up family is a total goof-off and they never do their homework (even though when they get home that's what I tell them to do)...Char got so many incomplete homeworks this quarter that (in spite of getting 100% of her tests right) she's lucky she passed a few of her classes. All I can say is Wow. My mom was right. Your friends really CAN drag you down. *sigh*
So now I have to go back to being the heavy, and micro-manage her life, and I freaking HATE that but *shrug* what else can I do?
Frankly, I DO worry about "Nature vs Nurture" all the time, because I DO believe we're genetically hotwired for certain tendencies. Her biological father (my ex) was notorious for being utterly unable to stay on task. In the eight years we were married he went through over 22 jobs.. 22! Seriously, I kept track! So I worry about Char being flighty and y'know, she really is. I'm not sure how much of that is just being a kid and how much is inherited from her dad...but I do my best to keep her focused. It was a lot easier to do when she was really little. The older she gets, the more she...wanders, and the more I worry.
I was a bad student myself, partly because I never learned to study (I have an eidetic memory) and partly because I was thrown to the wolves in public school in the 70's, when advanced courses or GT programs were unheard of and being smart was tantamount to asking for an ass whupping (so I played dumb an awful lot). Char can't use that as an excuse...she's been in GT classes and advanced study groups since she was in kindergarten, and today's public schools (at least here) are ultra-sensitive to bullying and stuff like that.
No, she just has a penchant for drama and I think she's trying to "fit in" with these poor kids (my Mom has been calling them "The Orphans" which is uncharitable but accurate, as not one of them has a responsible adult in their lives). I just wonder what the heck is going on...last year all her friends came from families with involved, present parents, and most of them were in GT classes with Char. This year, she's been drawn to all the kids with the MOST screwed up homes. Every one of them has major problems...not one of her friends has what you'd think of as a "normal" home, in fact I'd say that they're all neglected or abused. Why does she seek these kids out? I have to wonder if this is fallout from that stupid-ass custody battle I went through with my ex last year.
Crap. Maybe more counseling is in order.
So now I have to go back to being the heavy, and micro-manage her life, and I freaking HATE that but *shrug* what else can I do?
Frankly, I DO worry about "Nature vs Nurture" all the time, because I DO believe we're genetically hotwired for certain tendencies. Her biological father (my ex) was notorious for being utterly unable to stay on task. In the eight years we were married he went through over 22 jobs.. 22! Seriously, I kept track! So I worry about Char being flighty and y'know, she really is. I'm not sure how much of that is just being a kid and how much is inherited from her dad...but I do my best to keep her focused. It was a lot easier to do when she was really little. The older she gets, the more she...wanders, and the more I worry.
I was a bad student myself, partly because I never learned to study (I have an eidetic memory) and partly because I was thrown to the wolves in public school in the 70's, when advanced courses or GT programs were unheard of and being smart was tantamount to asking for an ass whupping (so I played dumb an awful lot). Char can't use that as an excuse...she's been in GT classes and advanced study groups since she was in kindergarten, and today's public schools (at least here) are ultra-sensitive to bullying and stuff like that.
No, she just has a penchant for drama and I think she's trying to "fit in" with these poor kids (my Mom has been calling them "The Orphans" which is uncharitable but accurate, as not one of them has a responsible adult in their lives). I just wonder what the heck is going on...last year all her friends came from families with involved, present parents, and most of them were in GT classes with Char. This year, she's been drawn to all the kids with the MOST screwed up homes. Every one of them has major problems...not one of her friends has what you'd think of as a "normal" home, in fact I'd say that they're all neglected or abused. Why does she seek these kids out? I have to wonder if this is fallout from that stupid-ass custody battle I went through with my ex last year.
Crap. Maybe more counseling is in order.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
From:
no subject
We actually had counseling last year too, and I thought we'd already been through all the tough stuff but you just never know with kids, I guess. She's having a terrible time dealing with her father lately and I think that's a big part of the problem. I think that's why she's identifying with these unhappy unloved kids. I can't guess what else it could be, because our relationship is just fine and she gets along great with Greg...our home is very predictable and peaceful.