breathing slow, counting...

[merimask]

Oh I am in a foul mood.  Not sleeping has something to do with it.  The ten inches of snow we're getting today has something to do with it.  Charlotte lost her phone last night at a varsity basketball game...that factors in there somewhere.  I'm living with two very sloppy people who are happiest when they see me cleaning up after them, apparently...that certainly adds to the fun.

One one thousand.  Two one thousand.  Three one thousand...sometimes, counting slowly helps but today, not so much. 

Umm.  I did manage to finish a few masks last night/this morning.  This is the neatest of the bunch; my promised Green Man, with ancient bronze-look paint.
 
I tried something new...moko_moko 's pictures of some lovely bronze lions reminded me that real old bronze ages very dark, so I darkened up the green a lot on this one, & added a black finishing wash to the whole thing.  S'pretty.

Shiny.  I have this mask up in Etsy right now.  It'll be interesting to see how it does.

Oh...I am really not done venting just yet.  Feel free to ignore this.

Here is how my day is going so far.  I'll start with yesterday.
*made lunch for Mom
*went to the Post Office & mailed 2 orders
*chipped ice off driveway because I knew a storm was coming
 *drove Char to friend's house
*picked up groceries
*filled car with gas...storm coming!
*came home, watched news,brushed Kiba, vaccuumed,did dishes
*saw that storm was going to be pretty big, so I packed up yet another order & mailed it right away 'cause I knew I wouldn't have my car today (Greg's car is no good in snow)
*Greg comes home, crashes on couch
*I get Chinese food for dinner, which I have to pick up & pay for
*Char calls from a basketball game for a ride home
*I pick up Char...she informs me that her phone is "gone"
*I fume and work all night on masks
*sleep 2 hours, get up to drive Char to school for mid term exam
*but first I make breakfast for her
*do dishes again
*clean sink/stove/counter because it is covered with yuk from Greg & Char being slobs with orange juice last night
*clean cat box
*find Char's old phone & charger for old phone
*shovel driveway & clean off car
*drive Char to school through a blizzard...she bitches 'cause I don't have cash for coffee at Tim Horton's
*back home...shovel again

So Greg leaves for work late because while I was doing all this, he played a nice video game.   Fortunately the car is nice and warm for him, and snow free.  He thinks it's funny that I have a headache.  I do not get a kiss goodbye.

And then, I photograph my new mask, clean up the pics in Photoshop, list it in Etsy, and sit down to write all this.

See, here is the thing.  I am busting my butt to keep sales going.  I'm trying to list something new every day.  That means I am making something all the time.  Making it isn't enough; I have to photograph it, write copy, list things, answer e-mail, do my PR work, package orders, mail stuff...it's a LOT of work.  Which of course I don't mind because I love what I do.

But then, on top of all that, I am also responsible for SO MUCH here.  This whole house grinds to a stop without me.  Every crisis is my responsibility.  Disciplining Char (who has been excessively teenagery for weeks now) is also my responsibility.  All home & pet maintenance...my responsibility.  And when I complain I'm teased.  And when I remind people of their small parts that I expect them to play in daily life (put on gloves for crying out loud...it's 10 degrees outside!  Don't forget your lunch!  You are supposed to be at "fill in the blank" in ten minutes...hurry up!) I am told that I am "nagging".  

Really I am hitting a wall here.  The very next thing that happens that I don't like is going to push me too far, today.  I predict I am going to scare the crap out of everyone by just screaming at the top of my lungs.   It'll be scary/funny.
 
*sigh*  It's snowing like CRAZY out there.  I need a vacation. 

Comments

[golden-meliades.livejournal.com]

I live in a mess, too, which is impossible for me to clean even if I wanted to because the one causing the MOST mess and never doing ANYTHING to help clean it up is my dad. I just ignore it completely. Fruit rotting in a basket? I don't care. Dishes all crusty? I don't care. I haven't the energy to clean up after myself most days, let alone anyone else, so as long as I'm cleaning up my own messes I feel fine about it. Do you have some space that is just yours, somewhere, that the slobs aren't allowed to go in?

You should print up your list and give it to Greg and Charlotte, adding the bits about Greg thinking your headache was funny and so on. The point form makes the point faster and more clearly than anything else.

I hate the photographing and listing and shipping and stuff. It takes longer than actually making the item to be photographed/listed/shipped. -_- That's why I don't lower my prices. It may only take half an hour to make something, but it takes an HOUR to do all the other things associated with it, and that counts, too. So an hour and a half of labour went into that piece, and I count it all, darn it.

I need to clean off the top of my craft table and get some energy and put together that line of 'economy' items (I'll come up with another name for them but I think I should be able to sell that particular style of stick for $12 a pair, which is about as inexpensive as you can go with sticks). Right now people are freer with their money if the items they're buying are under $15. Even though for most people, the economy has not yet changed their lives in any way. -_- (If people would stop freaking out things would get better a lot faster. Unemployment in Canada isn't even in the high range and yet everyone is freaking out like a bunch of illogical doofuses. Doofii?)

39 days until we get to put our clocks forward.

[merimask.livejournal.com]

I've tried apathy...it doesn't work for me. I end up just doing all the cleaning eventually anyway & if I let it go, it's just a bigger mess when I finally cave.

I can't escape them; we live in a tiny little house & they infiltrate every part of it. Waah!

[golden-meliades.livejournal.com]

The key is, it has to be GENUINE apathy, which you can't feign. I really DON'T care. Occasionally for specific reasons it will get intensely frustrating...and in those times I just go straight back to my own part of the house and close myself in and forget about it.

I'd definitely go on food strike as you said above. They're making your life HARDER...why should you go on making theirs EASIER until they give you a break? Let them eat cereal and pretzels for a week and maybe they'll see some point in wiping up the juice they spill. Cut off anything that is done for them alone, maybe. You can't tolerate mess, so when you clean it's partly for you...but you get nothing out of making THEM food. Let them wash their own laundry, etc, you just do your own. Eventually they'll run out of underwear. Anything you don't HAVE to do (to stay sane and happy yourself) just let it go until they agree to pull their own weight. It's only showing them how they're making your life difficult so they can understand just how wearying and depressing and LIFE SUCKING it all is, to have to struggle over every puny thing, such as being able to find things in the fridge, or brush your teeth without ruining your shirt because SOMEONE didn't wipe up the bleach they slopped all over the place.

Okay, that may not have happened to YOU, but I think you probably understand perfectly well. I just think they should be made to appreciate just how much harder they'd have to work, if not for you, and that you're not a servant.